Jokes/Bancuri/Glume :D
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Bancuri Cu BLONDE


1.O blonda care s-a saturat sa rida toata lumea de ea se vopseste bruneta, isi schimba numele si pleaca din oras.Pe drum vede un cioban cu o turma de oi.Ce se gindeste ea: toata viata lumea a facut misto de mine, ia sa fac si eu misto de alti, ca acum nu mai sint blonda si nu ma stie nimeni.Zis si facut.Coboara din masina si se duce la cioban.
- Bade, daca-ti spun asa dintr-o privire cite oi ai in turma,imi dai o oaie?
- Da, fata tati.
Blonda se uita de jur imprejur si spune:
- 201
- Da fata tati, intelegerea-i intelegere, alegeti o oaie si a ta sa fie.
Zis si facut.Blonda vesela se urca in masina, cind sa plece ii bate ciobanul im geam:
- Fata tati, daca-ti spun ce culoare naturala are parul tau, imi dai ciinele inapoi?

 

2.Un tanar isi prezinta logodnica la parinti. La masa, tipei ii vine sa faca part. Dupa cateva secunde se simte un miros... Socrul mare spune:
-Labus...!
Fericita fata ca viitorul socru a dat vina pe cainele de sub scaunul ei, ii vine inima la loc. Peste cateva minute mai trage una si tatal baiatului spune mai nervos:
-Labuuus, ai grija...
Absolvita de griji, fata mai trage una, la care vine replica:
-Labus! Pleaca de acolo ca se caca pe tine!

 

3.Q: De ce angajeaza NASA blonde?
A: Fac cercetari asupra gaurilor negre.
JOKES

1.Hole in One


There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.

The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !"

They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong whole?"

2.Fooled ya

Whats another name for a push-up bra?
False advertisement.

3.The Long Way Home


Two sperm are swimming in a women''s body. One sperm says to the other in exhaustion, "Whew, Just how far is the uterus anyway?" The second sperm begins to laugh and says, " The uterus!? We just past the esophogus."

4.Dr. Love

A woman visiting her doctor’s office suddenly blurts out, “Doctor, kiss me!” The doctor looks at her and says that it would be against his code of ethics to kiss her. About 20 minutes later the woman shouts again, “Doctor, please, kiss me just once!” Again he refuses apologetically but says that as a doctor he simply cannot kiss her. Finally another 15 minutes pass, and the exasperated woman pleads with the doctor, “Doctor, doctor, please kiss me just once!” “Look,” says the doctor. “I am sorry. I just can’t kiss you. In fact, I probably shouldn’t even be fucking you.”

Funny/ Distractive ;)

- 1.Ce e rosu si bate in geam?
- Alinuta in cuptorul cu microunde

2.TE pun la pat, sunt umeda si intru in tine, te fac sa gemin si sa urli, nu te speria, sunt eu, GRIPA.

3.Cand cer baietii mana fetelor? Cand s-au saturat de-a lor.

4.Ce e verde,ronund si urca pe perete?...???
    un castravete tupeist.

5.-de cate ori canta cocosul de dimineata
-...
-o singura data ... dar mai multe versuri.

6.-Ce-ti intra pe-o ureche, iti iese pe cealalta si-ti ramane si-n cap?
-Tarnacopul!



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